Crisis of Conscious

Posted on June 14, 2012 by andersonholland

“Are eggs fertilized?” I asked out of the bue while sitting next to my husband on the couch on Sunday. ”Why?” he asked. ”I’d feel bad if they were,” I explained and left it at that. I’m a vegetarian, but … Continue reading →

The get-sexy tip you haven’t heard

Posted on October 9, 2011 by andersonholland

Meditate. That’s right. Goswami Kriyananda, author of Beginner’s Guide to Meditation lists increased sexiness as a benefit of meditation. The purpose, according to Kriyananda, is detachment and unselfishness. But sexiness. Sexiness is an added benefit. It’s a benefit you can sell to your significant other who may resist the time meditation takes you away from him or her.

But my husband didn’t need to be sold on the idea. It was actually his (Did he know about the sex-appeal benefit?). And that caught me off guard. My rural-living, gun-toting, flannel-wearing father of two husband of four years suggested I learn to meditate one day as he watched me fight a losing battle with anxiety this summer. Nap time on the weekends was hell. I was fearful anything I did (like vacuuming) would wake the girls, and while I was exhausted and should have welcomed the down time, sitting in my less than spotless home opened the floodgates of negative thoughts, and the laundry list of “to-dos” swirling around my mind. My stomach turned. My muscles tensed. There was no calming myself.

Finding no meditation instructors in the area (go figure), I loaned Kriyananda’s book from my yoga teacher (and the amazing doula for our youngest). I read bits and pieces at first, and set it aside. Then this weekend, on a back-hill slide, I turned back to the book. This time, I started at the beginning. And I love it. His down-to-earth, non-preachy style is accessible and relatable. I’m about half-way through, but would recommend it without hesitation. Hopefully I’ll stick with it, my anxious stomach will soon calm, and I’ll be back to sharing recipes.

Shanti…

Yep, she’s a puker… but it’s not my cooking

Posted on October 5, 2011 by andersonholland

And it’s not a development abnormality, either — just abnormally persistent and excessive reflux for an 11 month old (and an artifact” posing as an unexplainable “mass” in her digestive system as a fetus). It just took several level two prenatal ultrasounds, three newborn ultrasounds, and an x-ray with contrast to find that out. For boasting the rare perfect 10 Apgar and having the healthiest puggy physique anyone could hope for a baby, Miss Maura Anne is incredibly familiar with Children’s Hospital.

In December, at just 5 weeks, my youngest daughter Maura was just days away from surgery when the surgeon changed her mind and ordered another imaging study. The mass was undetected. Then 15 hours before the surgery, I got the call that it was canceled. Many around us suggested “prayers were answered.” I was in autopilot at the time, but as I slowly came down from the stress of it all, I began to be somewhat angry that my baby was almost operated on for what could have been no reason at all. Were prayers answered? Did the mass resolve itself? Or did modern technology cause undo heartache, medical costs, and ALMOST a surgical procedure on a “perfect 10″ 5 week old. Regardless, she was kept safe. That prayer was answered, I suppose.

Still, ever since, there was the nagging question of what could be looming in there… undetected. She did, after all, spit up more than 20 times a day for quite some time. Yesterday the x-ray with contrast concluded everything is normal. Great news!

But we had one more decision to make. We decided to pursue treatment for reflux. I’m typically opposed to “unnecessary” medication for my kids (she is gaining weight appropriately), but at nearly a year old already, it won’t be long before kids won’t want to play with the girl who pukes on the toys. Right? If we’re deciding based on “quality of life,” I think we need to eliminate constant, sporadic vomiting from the list of barriers to our daughter making friends. Those stigmas stick from a young age. Especially in a small town. (Not to mention the quality of life for us and her daycare provider. How long can anyone follow a child cleaning up spit up before cracking?)

On a side note, we love the staff at Children’s Hospital and the affiliate clinics/providers. From the receptionists to the nurses, rad techs, and radiologists, and even the surgeon who called on her cell phone late in the day, we couldn’t have asked for a better experience. That said, we hope to stay away for the rest of our children’s long lives.

RIP Black & Decker Handy Steamer

Posted on September 27, 2011 by andersonholland

We are deeply saddened by the death of our Black & Decker Handy Steamer earlier this evening. We learned of its passing just as dinner should have been done. When we realized it had only heated lukewarm it was taken off life support, and our sweet potatoes and peas were carefully transferred to a stockpot on the stove to finish cooking.

This steamer has been a close friend to us over the years. My husband first used an identical one (loaned from his dad) to cook me dinner very early in our relationship. This gesture was how my father-in-law knew his son would soon propose.

Four years ago, following our marriage, we moved back to our hometown. As we transitioned from a condo to a house, we greatly accepted hand-me-down items from family. At the same time, my grandma moved from a house to an apartment. This steamer was one of our gratefully received items from her move. It’s been a staple here. Used multiple times a week, if not daily. It is arguably a more important asset to our kitchen than the toaster, microwave, and, perhaps, even the oven.

This hand-me-down from my grandma was preceded in death by her retro Kenmore dryer (2009), and survived by her hand crank mixer.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as we learn to cope with this loss. Memorials will be donated to the purchase of a new, larger steamer to accommodate the appetites of our growing girls.